I saw a client earlier this week who was a software geek – like me. I had the impression he was pretty experienced in the industry and pretty senior – after all he was staying in a 5 star boutique hotel downtown as part of a multi-city national trip. But he said a couple of things that started me thinking…

He made it very clear that when he found my ad / website he was immediately keen to see me – essentially because he never came across any transsexual dommes. In a way that was rather flattering and me feel somewhat unique. Then he said that, being the geek he was, he’d constructed a custom search for transsexual domes across a whole range of online ads and forums, and could only find three nationwide – and only one in the Bay Area. Now I do know of one or two transsexual domes that he didn’t find; one in LA (Mistress Cyan) and one who is no longer active in the Bay Area . But even with that caveat, that made me feel even more unique. Which may well be a good thing, as I might have this particular niche mostly to myself.

But then I thought… Why are there so few transsexual dommes? I would guess that there are fewer trans sex workers than cis sex workers, because there’s fewer of us per head of population. But even so if you go to Eros Guide it’s relatively easy to find transsexual sex workers (rather inelegantly termed she-males) but none appear to be dommes. Some appear to be tops and/or switches – but no dommes. So why is that?

Actually, I have no idea. There is very little correlation between gender identity and sexual orientation, and both tend to be best explained as “it just is”. People do not typically ask cis men and cis women why they identify as cis. And similarly people do not typically ask straight men and straight women why they identify as straight. Their gender identity and sexual orientation “just is”. And I assume that is true for me and other trans people too. Just that statistically, my being a transsexual domme is somewhat unlikely.

Who knew…  I’m unique…

Ms Emilie