I sometimes get asked by people whether I regard them as slaves or submissives. As it turns out that is a much debated question in the BDSM community. For example on Fetlife (which is a great source for kink discussions in general) there are literally dozens of groups where this is discussed / written about. For example, I found this Fetlife writing which argues that slaves, submissives, little boys and little girls are pretty much all the same thing. Conversely I found other Fetlife writing that assumes that there is a distinction – that submissives submit whereas slaves are owned. It’s an ongoing discussion…

I certainly think that there is a distinction between the kind of service my submissives (let’s use that word for now) offer me and that that might be found in a live-in 24x7 mistress / slave (and those words) situation. For me... I have typically steered clear of having live-in slaves because, while there are definitely benefits (being serviced on demand, having housework done etc.) there is a lot of work and responsibility involved – plus I am very jealous of my personal space.

So in my case, I generally only control submissives for a limited period (typically 1-3 hours) while they are in one of my dungeon spaces. Even while they are in that situation, there may also be pre-agreed limits. My control is not totally absolute. And then when they are elsewhere, at work or at home, I have very little control. So some of them might regard themselves as submissive in the dungeon – perhaps as a temporary escape from an alpha job? While some are more truly submissive but might only get to express that inner self in my dungeon.

I am realistic enough to understand the limits of my control. But there are ways to extend my control. For example, I like to set tests for my submissives, which are to be performed after they leave me, to be completed before their next visit. For example, I might require that they are chaste or abstinent until they next see me. Or I might require that a submissive sissie goes to a Victoria’s Secrets store and tells an assistant that their Mistress has sent them to purchase lingerie – and that it is for the sissie themselves. These tests all have the common element that I am exerting control at a distance – and of testing the submissive’s willingness to submit outside the dungeon.

But now I have started "branding" submissives. When I have them helpless in my dungeon, which may not require anything more than a command to kneel, I write ownership messages on their butts in Sharpie – for example “Ms Emilie’s Bitch” (hence the post title). You can see examples here and here – which two are the first of a sequence. Sharpie probably wears off in a few days, especially in moist areas, but they do have the pleasure of walking around for that period knowing that their little butts are branded – and having to manage things so that partners and/or sports buddies do not see.

But even though hardly anyone (and possibly no one other than me) will see the brand, they know it’s there – that they are carrying my mark on their bodies.

Ms Emilie