One of my dearest submissives has been through few quite a few changes recently – including leaving a long-term relationship. In some senses I was a catalyst for that series of changes. But once he got started he has been a whirlwind.

For example, he created a profile on Fetlife and started putting his writing up there. And that quickly led to all sorts of contacts – friends, possible dates etc. So seeing how well that was going I suggested he started a profile on OkCupid - and before I knew it he had one. But then when I wanted to look at his profile, I got carried away and created my own OkCupid profile. I am pretty sure that I said that I was interested in “Women” but was almost instantly deluged by messages from men – many of whom appeared not to have read the profile?

So I started sending back a somewhat snarky, but still polite, copy-and-paste reply like this…

"Good luck with your search - which will be more productive if you do not contact people who are not interested in men."

… and I never heard from most of them again. But one guy persisted in a nice enough manner, so I pointed out that I did see men in a professional capacity and suggested he looked at msemilieoxford.com. I think that was something of a surprise. But then after a little bit of email back and forth he booked a session – which (I think) went very nicely indeed.

I always thought that OkCupid was the most flexible of the mainstream dating sites with respect to kink, queer-ness, non-monogamy – and was impressed at all of the different orientation and identity options that were presented when constructing my profile (although apparently they are still “experimental”). But I had no idea it could be a vehicle for finding new submissives.

I wonder if this might be a trend? Perhaps it should be called OkMistress?

Ms Emilie