I seem to see quite a few people who are new to being a submissive. Perhaps they have been thinking about that for quite a while and finally take that step. And quite a few of them come back – become regulars - which seems to imply that they enjoyed themselves and have found something in themselves. 

One of those is Nomicon who wrote me a long and detailed (that’s his style) contribution on what it is like to see me for the first time – essentially a step by step guide for you – a first timer. I’ve copied it below without modification.

This is my second guest post. I think it’s going to become a fixture…

Ms Emilie

So this is your first time with Ms Emilie

Hi – my handle is Nomicon (feel free to friend me on Fetlife!) and not long ago I was in exactly the situation you probably find yourself in.

That is, I had been kinky for a long, long time but had done nothing about it. Specifically, I had the strong desire to submit to a dominant force in my sexual life. But I had no options or opportunities to explore this side of myself. And then things built up and got to the point where something had to happen if I was going to remain sane.

I was fortunate enough to find Ms Emilie and schedule a session with her. If you haven't done so already, then that's exactly what you should do now. You will find no better domme to introduce you to this lifestyle.

Based on my experiences with Ms Emilie, here are some tips for you. I strongly suggest you read them a couple of times and carefully process the information. These tips can make a huge difference, and will enhance your enjoyment of your first session(s).

#1. Help Ms Emilie

Ms Emilie is here to help you, but first you have to help her. She needs to know where you are coming from, what you are interested in. Ms Emilie can do a lot of things to you, and I guarantee many of them you won't be ready for in your first session. The reality is, you have specific things you've been fantasizing about forever, and Ms Emilie needs to know what those are if she's going to help you.

In fact you may have a lot of things on your wish-list. But Ms Emilie is not going to do all those to you in your first session, as you would overload. She always has your best interests in mind and is going to go at a pace that makes sense for a person new to all this.

Here's what I did: I sent Ms Emilie a link to a bdsmlibrary.com story that had stuck with me for years, and I provided a bulleted list of the items from that story that particularly intrigued me. The list contained too many things for any single session, but it clearly outlined my interests.

Then I asked Ms Emilie to do what she would to me, now that she knew something about my interests. Once you have provided this kind of context, I strongly suggest you leave it to Ms Emilie to take care of things after that. She'll know what to do.

#2. Be an adult human being

When communicating with Ms Emilie ahead of time, don't be a simpering slave. Ms Emilie is a human adult and you are human adult; treat her with the respect she deserves and be an adult until the point that you are in her dungeon and collared, when you are free to become something else (a “boy”?).

#3. Search your heart

There's no shame in this question: Is this really what you want to do?

If you aren't ready, that's totally okay. Just be honest with yourself and with Ms Emilie. If you start out thinking you can do this but in the process you discover you can't follow through, then let her know ahead of time and don't make an excuse.

What you must not do is suddenly disappear from the conversation, or worse, schedule a session and then not show up. That's just rude, wastes Ms Emilie's time, and isn't treating her or yourself with respect.

#4. Prepare yourself

This is a bit delicate, but unless you've indicated otherwise, it's possible (likely?) that there's going to be some anal play involved. I hope you haven't indicated otherwise, as this is very fun.

But here's the deal: You need to respect Ms Emilie and prepare yourself.

That means an enema. You can search around for suggestions on this. Here's what's worked for me, after trial and, alas, error:

  • A typical “chemical” enema five hours before the session, such as a Fleet enema. Some people recommend against this, but I have found it necessary.
  • As close to the session as possible, flushing yourself out with a rubber bulb filled with warm water, preferably two or three times.

#5. What to expect

Your session will be unique, and filled with surprises, and I leave that to you and Ms Emilie.

What I want you to know ahead of time is that Ms Emilie is a powerful woman who is going to thrill you with her willingness to take charge and dominate you. At the same time, she is going to treat you very well. She is doing this because she loves to do it; she is not crass, or disinterested, or dismissive. She will be clear about what she wants from you, she will be supportive when you give her that, and she will gently guide you into this world.

(When she's not gleefully twisting the hell out of your nipples!)

Especially in your first session it's natural to be very self-focused as you absorb what all is going on. But you are not alone in the room. You will enjoy it more if you realize there are two human beings here, you and Ms Emilie, and you are engaged in a mutually enjoyable activity. So talk to her, tell her what you are experiencing and feeling, and have some fun banter. It will make everything else even more hot and sexy.

#6. The shuttle has launched

At this point you've provided Ms Emilie with ideas about what you are after, you've treated her respectfully and acted like an adult. You've prepared yourself and you've shown up for the session, on time. You have an idea what to expect.

Now she is going to explain the rules to you and tell you to take off your clothes, then she's going to put a collar on you.

This is where the magic starts. I envy you.