I have recently been cross-posting my blog posts to Fetlife. This time a friend on Fetlife (JaTee) posted a response, which they were gracious enough to allow me to reproduce here (below the break).
Ms Emilie
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Thank you for this post Ms. Emilie. As always, you are very insightful. The fantasy of being forced can be extremely traumatic for those not prepared for what lies ahead. I myself enjoy those scenes, but it wasn't until I was able to enjoy anal that I figured out how to indulge those darker desires of being forcefully taken. And to be certain...being taken when you have little or no experience (uhhh...I've used my pinky...does that count? eyeroll) and/or haven't properly cleaned out can be a messy business.
One of the ways that I trained myself was using my remote ErosTek unit with an acrylic butt plug. The electrical impulses provided the sensation of being fucked (electricity makes muscles clench, fyi) without the in-and-out of a penis or dildo that hurt so much. Once I discovered the pleasure of "being fucked" without the distracting sensations I was all in. I am still teaching myself to relax so that I minimize the in and out sensations that hurt. But once I was able to relax, a floodgate opened.
One of the things that the indomitable Eve Minax taught me was that one can force themselves on another (consensually) in ways that seem rough when they're not. For example I was recently with a new play partner who wanted me on all fours so that she could finger my hole (poor me). I was waaaaay into it when I turned my head backward and begged her to fuck me harder. She responded by saying that she was sorry that her fingers were somewhat short. We finished and I gave her some feedback - deeper isn't necessarily better. It doesn't matter how short your fingers are...you can usually reach my prostate and I told her that with her finger(s) in me, she could use the rest of her fist and knuckles to push on the outside of my hole much more forcefully. That, combined with dirty talk I love so much, makes it feel like she's being rougher than she actually is. And it tricks my mind into feeling like I'm being taken...without the distraction that sometimes comes with heavy use of my hole.
Thanks for allowing me to respond...and thanks for posting this!